Bodies, Blondes And Flashbacks
by Verathaine
Summary: Yohji thinks back on why he is an assassin and why he needs to protect women. A somewhat depressing ONESHOT.


**Character POV: Yohji**

**Warnings: Most probably a oneshot. Yohji depression. Character death (misleeeading much~).**

**Disclaimer: I don't think I even need to say anything relating to them NOT BEING MINE! Haha the OC's in this don't really count as they have no personality or names.**

**Bodies, Blondes and Flashbacks.**

Another night, another club, the beat pulses through me, forcing my body to move in soft but harsh ways. Grind against that girl there, slide a wayward hand down his side. This feeling, as if you are lost in a sea of bodies and mean nothing. The outside world no longer exists. Complete freedom of movement and yet I should feel trapped, it's such a small space.

My eyes always roam. Sometimes they stick on something for a heartbeat. A flash of red hair. A shine on a silver pendant that could be a knife. A blonde who looks far too young to be legal. I frown because she shouldn't be here, someone less conscious of morals than me will snap her up. Food for the wolves, snacks for the sharks. Less conscious of morals? Morals aren't something I should live with, by rights. I am a hunter of the night. Sometimes.

Other times I'm a beautiful womanizer. I make it my job to protect the fragile smiles of the fairer sex. Some need no protecting, but I view myself as having a curse. A curse who's plan I must foil. And so I will still bear these sins and hand out these flowers, if only for a moment of joy. The times without care are fleeting as you grow older. I should know, jaded as I am.

There, a rich, dark-haired man has attached himself to the young blonde. I would help her but I'm too far away and here, in this moment, it is not my business. This is my time to switch off, a place where my curse will not take effect. Some people wonder why I have so many women in my life? They shouldn't, isn't it better to spread out your love than to give it all to one who will surely fall in the end. I have seen so many smiles break. Hearts shatter. My women never last. Death always comes to knock on my door.

Yohji Kudoh. So noble. He kills those dark beasts and saves the day. I don't enjoy my job. But I must save others if only to atone for those I have lost:

My mother. Once so sweet and gentle, but with a tendency to brood and become depressed. When I failed that exam I thought she'd cry. When I had my first fight I thought she'd scream. But when I killed my first friend. That's when she couldn't take it any more. I found her clutching a picture of me, dad and my younger sister, still a baby. We were smiling so happily, back before dad contracted cancer and Rei died of heart failure, she'd only been eleven. My mother had used the glass from the frame to stab herself over and over, her face, her hands, her chest, everywhere was red. My fault but what could I do? The idiot had started on the hard drugs. He'd forced me, then hurt me and finally tried to kill me. Self defense is how I learnt to fight.

My first girlfriend as well. She'd taken up with _that_ guy. Only I hadn't known. By the time I found out she was already trying to kill herself. In the end she succeeded, and I thought she'd been getting better. A rough, painful suicide, slashed arms, broken ribs, scratch marks on her throat. It broke my young heart of course, to have my mother and my girlfriend die on me, so close and so eerily similar.

There are others but I can't think about them, it hurts me more each time. Especially Asuka, my beautiful Asuka, they were all so young. Even my mother. Thirty-three isn't an age to die at. Fifteen isn't an age to be orphaned and left with no family either. Maybe that's why I worked so hard, drowning myself in study rather than facing the cold world of reality.

And now, rather than the Private Investigator I trained for and used to be, I am an assassin, sinning and deadly. Oh we may be told that we are the "good" guys. Only killing those of evil nature. But what is that really but lies? Any killer will end up in hell. You never know, perhaps we all deserve it.

**AN: So uh... hmm... how did you like it? Not something that really needs anymore chapters I think. I cannot believe I wrote this whilst being entirely cheerful and listening to happy music. :/ Two words. TWISTED MIND.**


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